Games People Play. Berne’s popular psychological study of human interactions had first been published in 1964. It reaches the bestseller list three years later, largely through word of mouth, selling more than 2.5 million copies and remaining on the bestseller list longer than any other nonfiction book in the previous ten years.

“To say that the bulk of social activity consists of playing games does not necessarily mean that it is mostly ‘fun’ or that the parties are not seriously engaged in the relationship…. The essential characteristic of human play is not that the emotions are spurious, but that they are regulated.” 18, Games People Play

“Pastimes and games are substitutes for the real living of real intimacy. Because of this they may be regarded as preliminary engagements rather than as unions, which is why they are characterized as poignant forms of play. Intimacy begins when individual (usually instinctual) programming becomes more intense, and both social patterning and ulterior restrictions and motives begin to give way.” 18, Games People Play

“Structure-hunger has the same survival value as stimular-hjunger. Stimulus-hunger and recognition-hunger express the need to avoid sensory and emotional starvation, both of which lead to biological deterioration. Structure-hunger expresses the need to avoid boredom, and Kierkegaard has pointed out the evils which result from unstructured time. If it persists for any length of time, boredom becomes synonymous with emotional starvation and can have the same consequences.” 18, Games People Play

“The solitary individual can structure time in two ways: activity and fantasy. When one is a member of a social aggregation of two or more people, there are several options for structuring time. In order of complexity, these are: (1) Rituals (2) Pastimes (3) Games (4) Intimacy and (5) Activity, which may form a matrix for any of the others. The goal of each member of the aggregation is to obtain as many satisfactions as possible from his transactions with other members. The more accessible he is, the more ’satisfactions’ he can obtain.” 19, Games People Play

“The advantages of social contact revolve around somatic and psychic equilibrium. They are related to the following factors: (1) the relief of tension (2) the avoidance of noxious situations (3) the procurement of stroking and (4) the maintenance of an established equilibrium.” 19, Games People Play

“Experience has shown that it is more useful and enlightening to investigate social transactions from the point of view of the advantages gained than to treat them as defensive operations.” 19, Games People Play

“The most gratifying forms of social contact, whether or not they are embedded in a matrix of activity, are games and intimacy. Prolonged intimacy is rare, and even then it is primarily a private matter; significant social intercourse most commonly takes the form of games, and that is the subject which principally concerns us here.” 19-20, Games People Play

“More complex are ulterior transactions - those involving the activity of more than two ego states simultaneously - and this category is the basis for games. Salesmen are particularly adept at angular transactions, those involving three ego states.”

Categories: Book reports