Illiteracy Statistics

In a study of 20 ‘high income’ countries, the US ranked 12th on literacy tests. Illiteracy has become such a serious problem in our country that 44 million adults are now unable to read a simple story to their child. A few other shocking facts:

• 50 percent of adults cannot read a book written at an eighth grade level.
• 20 percent of Americans are functionally illiterate and read below a 5th grade level.
• Nearly half of all Americans read so poorly that they cannot find a single piece of information when reading a short publication.

How Illiteracy Affects Job Prospects

• 3 out of 4 people on welfare can’t read.
• 20 percent of Americans read below the level needed to earn a living wage.
• 50 percent of the unemployed people who fall between the ages of 16 and 21 cannot read well enough to be considered functionally literate.
• Between 46 and 51 percent of American adults have an income well below the individual threshold poverty level because of their inability to read.

How Illiteracy Affects Society

• 3 out of 5 people in an American prison can’t read.
• 85 percent of juvenile offenders have problems reading.
• Approximately 50 percent of Americans read so poorly that they are unable to perform simple tasks such as balancing a checkbook and reading prescription drug labels.
• To determine how many prison beds will be needed in future years, some states actually base part of their projection on how well current elementary students are performing on reading tests.

How Illiteracy Costs Taxpayers

• Illiteracy costs American taxpayers an estimated $20 billion each year.
• Illiteracy has been proven to cause children to drop out of school. Dropouts cost our nation $240 billion in social service expenditures and lost tax revenues.

The Fight Against Illiteracy

The fight against illiteracy is a constant battle. Activists are working to strengthen education amongst young people and amongst adults. If you want to join the fight, there are numerous organizations that accept volunteers and donations.

You can also help to prevent illiteracy by encouraging a young person in your life to read. Enroll them in a book of the month club or buy them a book you know they will enjoy reading.

In short, do your part. The fight against illiteracy is important. If we continue to ignore what is becoming a growing epidemic, we set our entire country up for failure.

Statistics for this article were obtained from the following sources: National Institute for Literacy, National Center for Adult Literacy, The Literacy Company, U.S. Census Bureau

By Michael Kinsley
Posted Saturday, Sept. 15, 2007, at 7:14 AM ET If you know anything at all about the federal student loan program, you will not have been surprised by the scandal of recent months. The only amazing thing is that it has taken so long to arrive. Here’s how the program works: Banks and other private companies lend money to students. The federal government pays part or all of the interest—currently 7 percent or 8 percent. The government also guarantees the loans.

What is wrong with this picture? Well, the government itself borrows the odd nickel to finance the national debt. This borrowing, obviously, is also guaranteed by the government. For that reason, it carries an interest rate of only 3 percent or 4 percent. If the government can borrow money at 3 percent or 4 percent, why should it be paying 7 percent or 8 percent for the privilege of guaranteeing loans to someone else? Wouldn’t it make more sense for the government to loan out the money itself?

That is the $4 billion question (the approximate annual cost of the interest subsidy). And the answer is: Of course that would make more sense. It is what any levelheaded businessperson would do. And what is stopping the government from behaving like a levelheaded businessperson? Not those head-in-the-clouds Democrats. It’s Republicans, who adopted the student loan “industry” in its infancy, like a stray cat, and have nurtured it and protected it ever since. There actually is a parallel student loan program that does use government funds. It was started in the early days of the Clinton administration. It costs less to operate, and it has not been tainted by scandal. But when the Republicans regained control of Congress in 1994, they pushed through a law forbidding the Education Department to encourage the use of this program. As a result, direct federal loans account for only 25 percent of all student loans.

There is plenty of other encouragement going on. New York Attorney General Andrew Cuomo has extracted fines of more than $1 million each from prestigious institutions like Columbia and Johns Hopkins—and, for that matter, nearly as prestigious institutions like Citibank, JP Morgan Chase, and Bank of America. It seems that kickbacks were being paid to university financial aid officers who delivered customers. Some of them even got stock in some of the more specialized, and dubious, student loan companies. When the government is giving away free money—which is what the program amounts to (and I mean giving it away to the banks, not to the students)—it’s worth a good deal to get cut in on such a good deal.

When the student loan abuse story broke, fingers were pointed at the Education Department, which is supposed to supervise the program. The Government Accountability Office minced no words. It called on the department to “develop a protocol to determine the appropriate level of response for cases of non-compliance and assess the effectiveness of these actions to inform and improve this protocol.” Wow. While the Education Department quaked in its boots over that one, Congress more usefully passed a bill substantially reforming the student loan program and cutting the subsidy to banks and other loan providers by 80 percent. President Bush, to his credit, will sign these reforms into law. In fact, he actually proposed some of them in his budget from February of this year. But this puts him at odds with his party.

The student loan “industry,” as it is comically referred to in the newspapers, is an interesting case study in politics and business. To start, it is hardly an industry. There are no factories. The only things it “makes” are loans. Furthermore, it exists only because of a government program. Yet in the four decades since the federal government started it, the student loan business has evolved into a pretty good imitation of an industry, with trade associations, lobbyists, and support from politicians, mostly Republican. This “industry” is so dependent on the good will of politicians, in fact, that the reform bill alone may be enough to queer the deal in which its biggest player, Sallie Mae, is supposed to be bought by a private-equity firm for $25 billion. Even before taking over, the private-equity firm booted Sallie Mae’s CEO on the explicit grounds that he did not have good relations with Democrats. To run this so-called company, in other words, you don’t need to know how to make widgets or even how to make loans. You just need to know how to make nice. But don’t feel too bad for this CEO who suddenly found his Rolodex obsolete: He made $40 million last year and will get millions more if the deal does go through.

But why do Republicans love student loans? Oh, in part the usual reasons: lobbyists and campaign contributions. There is almost sure to be at least one of these firms in your district—the local bank, if no one else. But there is more. Student loans are the clearest example of the common Republican confusion between free-market capitalism and business. Capitalism is an economic system that is held, with some justification, to be the best guarantor of prosperity. Business can be capitalism in action, or it can be something entirely different. There is very little about the student loan program that has anything to do with free-market capitalism. Yet whenever the student loan system comes under criticism, lobbyists, “industry” leaders, and supportive politicians haul out the same old clichés as if they were defending Adam Smith’s famous pin factory itself.

During the recent reform bill debate in the House, for example, a Republican from Texas, Jeb Hensarling, declared that the very notion of reducing the subsidy to private companies was “all part of a Democratic tax-and-spend program.” Rep. Virginia Foxx, Republican of North Carolina, declared that “we should call this the new Democratic welfare bill,” because it was “taking away personal responsibility from people and giving them out and out payments for loans that they take out.” This may be referring to a part of the bill that would forgive loans after many years for people who devote their lives to public service. Or it may just be nuts.

A so-called “analysis” by an industry expert, which (according to the Washington Post) circulated on Capitol Hill during the debate, worried that the big boys would survive, but the subsidy reductions “may leave smaller lenders unprofitable.” Concern for “small lenders” was a common theme, as if a loan from a ma-and-pa bank, if such an institution exists, would be warmer and cuddlier than a loan from Citibank. Another common theme was that the subsidy cut was part of a covert Democratic effort to drive people into the direct federal loan program—or, as one lender CEO described it, the “one-size-fits-all direct loan program.” This would be no bad thing, but it doesn’t seem to have been the case. I’m not sure what “one size fits all” means here, but if it refers to the interest rate that students and their families have to pay, it’s true that there is only one rate in the government program, compared with many in the private one—all of them higher, but maybe there are people for whom the variety is worth it.

This advertisement ban was welcomed by university authorities but not so much by writing companies who have been in the business of writing for pay activities. Moreso by freelancers who are employed by these companies. Claiming that their business is legitimate, the writing companies said that when they are engaged by students, who incidentally are mostly foreign students, they make it clear to their clients that they should not in any way claim or allude that the article these companies wrote are written by the students themselves.

I think Google is over reacting to the complaints of university authorities. I would have to side with the writing companies argument. After all, they too are legitimate companies which have the right to purchase advertising spots not only from Google, but from other online companies as well.

As for students, better save the name and particulars of the writing companies they are currently dealing with. They might lose valuable services provided by these companies if they don’t bookmark their sites. Sooner or later, you wouldn’t find a good link to a reliable writing company once Google bans advertisements of these companies.

May 22nd, 2007 by Arnold Zafra

P.S

Check Google, custom essays and term paper writing adverts are still there! Why is it so? Did Google change its mind?

Any author who has tried to get published knows just how hard it can be. After all, reaching out to dozens of publishers and just ending up with a pile of “rejection letters” can be disheartening month after month. It sometimes may almost seem harder to get published then to write actually write a book. What is one to do? One certainly does not wish to extinguish the book burning inside oneself. Well, one idea is to think “outside the box.”

Fortunately, for the writer, the world of publishing today, is in the process of rapid transition. Emerging new options, offer tantalizing possibilities for the enterprising author. One creative solution to the problem is to consider “self publishing.” As the saying goes “if you cannot beat them, join them.” Why not become a publisher? Turn the problem on its head, make it the basis for a solution. It is not as daunting as it may sound. Dramatic changes in technology offer new ideas and solutions.

Today, many options exist to help authors publish their books independently. A large part of the process may be figuring out what will work for you and what has worked successfully for others. While the traditional world of publishing is opening up, new worlds in publishing are also emerging. In addition to traditional paperback books, publishing today is increasingly expanding on to the internet. One can certainly explore setting up websites, and publishing ebooks, for example.

Here too, there are numerous opportunities for an enterprising writer. Of course the writer, may need to learn new tools and/or form new alliances with emerging skill-sets. However, authors today, unlike past generations of writers, are very technically savvy. Gone are the days of ribbons and typewriters. Today, most writers create their works on word processors on a computer. Many authors, due to the rapid integration of technology into our lives, feel comfortable enough to experiment with the new internet writing and publishing skill-sets. Some may even argue, that html editors (the editors used to “write web pages”) are in many ways similar to the word processors writers use on a daily basis.

In fact, your current word processor probably has an option to create web pages. (You can try it by saving a file using a “save as” type command, in a “dialog box” that pops up look for the “save as type drop down box” and select htm, html or a similar variant. Click save, and viola you have a web page!) Of course, I do not mean to suggest that technology is always so easy or simple. In fact, often it may not be, as we all know. For many, either to due to constraints of time, skill or desire, their desire to explore new technologies will be limited. But one can always consider hiring or outsourcing tasks one is not interested in.

However, one approaches the problem, there are many options available today to become a paperback publisher or internet website-based ebook publisher. So the next time a publisher brushes you off, don’t take it personally, simply consider the new universe of options that beckons to you. After all, what is stopping you?

In press releases, headlines are critical. They’re the first, and often the only, thing the media reads. If your headline doesn’t immediately grab the reader’s attention, your release usually won’t be read.

To seize the media’s attention, link your headlines to:

1) Money,

2) Sex,

3) Health,

4) Controversy.

Remember to grab the media by looking at and reacting to what is in the news! The media does not care about you or your book.They care about how good an interview you are, how you react to something that is going on now- and they want you to help their audience and or readers-

Do your homework! Read magazines, newspapers every day- and watch several TV shows every day- including Today, GMA and CBS Early Show. Couldn’t hurt to watch Oprah too!

Make sure that you know everything you can about the reporter before you speak to him or her. Read all that they have written- do a google search- know where there went to school… Be prepared!

Excerpted from Author 101: Bestselling Book Publicity, by Rick Frishman and Robyn Spizman; http://www.author101.com

Go to http://www.author101.com to get your free “Million Dollar Rolodex”

1) Limit your Index to a maximum of THREE indented levels. Human mind starts losing track of the nestled groupings once you cross over into the fourth level and beyond. It helps a great deal if every level has its own styling. For example, the first level could be in BOLD letters, the second level in normal PLAIN fonts, and the third in plain ITALIC fonts. I’d recommend to use the same font family and not switch to different fonts in between indentation levels.

2) Always start your indexed words with LOWER CASE letters, unless it is an acronym. Lower case letters is easier for the human eye to read. But all acronyms should be in all caps. It is great practice to repeat every acronym also in its open form, starting each word with UPPER CASE letter. For example, repeat “ACS 115″ also as “American Cancer Society 115″, but not as “american cancer society 115″, etc.

3) Make sure all important phrases are CROSS INDEXED, cross referenced, under their respective letters. For example, repeat “space shuttle” also as “shuttle, space.” In this case both are under the letter S. Repeat “welfare state” as “state, welfare” under the letters W and S, respectively. Do the extra work if you want your users find what they are looking for easily. Cross-referenced index entries will prevent the users from thinking. And a user that can go through a document, book or manual without thinking is a happy user.

Cedar Grove is a tiny town about a mile and a hair past nowhere. They’ve got two stoplights total and an old brick schoolhouse that also serves as the town hall and bingo headquarters on Thursdays. They’re very proud of their one-half of a fast-food restaurant. The other half is technically in Butner - not the same Butner to which you may be familiar with. Time rolls at a slow pace in Cedar Grove where the most exciting thing that ever happened was the time Cleetus Harley’s pig made front page of the paper for having borned her a piglet with three tails. These stories, they aren’t fancy. They’re just about the people. Kelly Swanson

This is how I open many of my storytelling performances and I have spent years “apologizing” for the fact that my stories don’t have strong plots, just strong characters. I always hoped that my audiences would form a connection with my characters - a connection that would somehow make their lives better having known the characters in my small southern town.

So imagine my surprise when over the course of my studies (I am always studying comedy, writing, storytelling, speaking, etc.) I ran across a book written by one of my favorite comedy writers (Janet Evanovich) where she states that stories aren’t about plots, they’re about the characters. This is not to say that a story doesn’t need a plot, or that plots aren’t important. It is to say that with weak characters, your plot is useless. So if you remember anything today, remember that the story is in the people. Let me say it louder: THE STORY IS IN THE PEOPLE.

She’s not the first one to say it, and most certainly not the last, but for the first time I stopped and listened and let it soak into my brain as another writing truth ingrained in my heart. (Here’s where my husband would tell me to quit being so dramatic.) And so the topic I have chosen to ramble on about for this month is developing characters. I have seen time and time again that when you take the time to fully develop a character, the story will write itself. Did you hear that? Spend time on the character and the story will write itself. I’ve seen it happen over and over. So trust me on this.

I’m a big believer in showing rather than telling, so instead of giving you a list of ways to develop a character, I’m going to show you how I developed a character just last week, and how opening up your mind to these characters will unlock story trails beyond imagination. Okay, so maybe I’m being dramatic again. Let’s just get to work and see if I can show you what I mean.

I’m huffing and puffing away on my treadmill (where I get my best creative work done) and I’m reading what Janet Evanovich (in her book “How I Write”) has to say about the characters in her books. And I was so intrigued and inspired by her insights that I immediately got out my life journal (yes, I actually meant it when I said I had a life journal) and decided to create a character right there on the spot. No story, no plot, no deep hidden meanings - just a character. And as every good writer knows, perfect characters are boring. We want characters who have flaws, who make mistakes - characters who are real.

So I trusted the first person to pop into my head and decided on a girl (because I am one, and know nothing about being a boy and don’t want to do the research to figure it out.) How about a girl who teaches dance in small town. Is it the best character in the world? Who knows, this is just practice so I’ll go with it. Okay, now what?

Writers should write what they know. So if you haven’t been in the military, you probably shouldn’t have your main character be a soldier unless you are willing to do the necessary homework to understand it from a soldier’s perspective. I’m too lazy. So I know my character will be somebody I can relate to on some level. Except that I know nothing about dancing? So why did I choose a dance teacher? Beats me. Problem is, I never danced or had family who danced so I don’t know anything about that. That’s not good.

How about this: She’s never had a dance lesson in her life. She has no idea what she’s doing. Now that I can relate to. And other people can relate as well to the concept of being somewhere where we’re in a little bit over our head. She and I are sounding more alike already. And what a great situation to place a character, for nothing opens the door for comedy better than placing a characters in situations where they don’t naturally belong. I’m not sure that made sense. Remember the show Bosom Buddies from years ago? The one about the two men who had to dress as women to live in their building? That’s what I mean.

Wow, now that opens the door for humor and conflict. But how can she be a dance teacher having never taught dance? It’s got to make sense. Easy….she filled in one day for the regular dance teacher who never came back. It’s a small town. Nobody else wanted the job, the kids kept showing up, and one thing led to another…and here she is. Stuck. She doesn’t want to quit and let the kids down. She’s staying out of obligation. But secretly liking it.

Already I can see the potential for stories here - the experiences with the kids. But I’m jumping ahead. See? The story is already wanting to write itself. But back to the character.

Every character wants something - sometimes more than one thing. They may want physical things or emotional things or both. So I need to make this character want something. How about this: She wants to be bigger than the small town where she lives. She’s got something missing in her life. Problem is, she doesn’t have any idea what, and she keeps chasing after different things each week (each story.) She’s indecisive. At this point my main character has some qualities like me, and some not. That’s okay.

Not only does every story’s main character want something, there has to be something standing in their way of getting it. This is often referred to as the conflict. Notice that we aren’t really worried about what our story is going to be about. We aren’t getting into the story’s plot where you travel down the road of conflict and resolution. We are talking about the main character’s conflict. What makes her tick. The parts about her that may never show up on paper - but that we need to know before we ever begin our story. Does that make sense? It’s almost as if you are doing a report on your character before you even think about writing your story. When you get to writing a story about her, you will find ways to SHOW us what she is like through her actions, rather than a paragraph that opens up and tells us all about her. That’s boring. Yuck. Anyway, back to the main character.

What are some other things about her? At this point I’m just going to list some stuff as it pops into my head. I may not use all of it. I don’t want to give all my quirks (the things that make that character interesting) to the same character. I may want to give her a friend with some of those quirks. But we’ll get to secondary characters in a minute.

Let me take a minute to explain to you something about characters. You want them to be realistic and make a connection to your audience. You want your audience to have a stake in your character - to be rooting for them. You also want your audience to have a stake in your other characters. You want your characters to grow, but also stay true to who they are. This may sound like a lot of work, and sometimes it is. But it’s worth it if you want to have a good story. And sometimes just coming up with a brief description of your character is better than nothing.

These are some possible traits for this main character, including things I need to think about in more depth:

 She tries new fashions and never quite pulls them off

 Everything relates to food

 She’s very uncoordinated

 Low self-esteem

 Bleeding heart

 Wants to save the world

 Thinks something is missing in her life

 Drives a van with Miss Pinky Lee’s School of Dance on the side

 Curses when she’s mad

 Eats when she’s upset

 Is a magnet for guys she shouldn’t be with

 Wants something more than this town has to offer

 What was her childhood like? Overweight, funny, failed at most things she did which she happily acknowledged and kept going anyway

 What has made her wish so desperately for something out there?

 She grew up in a conservative church and is conflicted now

Okay, that’s just a start. Who knows how big the list will grow or what will change and remain the same. Think how much can happen to this character when you start unlocking her personality. I already have so many ideas for stories about her dating life, her relationship with these kids, her uncoordinated attempts to teach, the recitals she has not knowing anything about dance. I even made of list of the messages that could be taught through the stories, like beauty is on the inside, etc. But that’s jumping ahead. We’re only talking about characters today.

What other characters will flavor these stories?

And that brings us to the antagonists or secondary characters as I like to call them. Remember that knowing these characters is as important as knowing your main character.

So I started thinking about what other characters would show up in these stories in addition to the main character? (Notice that I’m already seeing this as a group of stories - all from the creation of one character!)

I’m figuring this to be somewhat of a small town - and southern. Because that’s what I know. This could be anywhere though and still be a good trail for stories. I decided to have my dance studio be an old fast-food chicken place with a faint outline of a chicken still on the wall, and on rainy days you can still smell grease.

The first characters that come to mind are the kids who come to the class (lots of ways to go with that) and the mothers who bring them. Oh my, can you imagine all the types of mothers you can have? And don’t forget all the conflicts that each kid/mother brings with them. When I write these stories I will not work super hard to come up with descriptions on every character - at least not as much as I developed the main character unless it’s a story where the secondary character has a big role.

Then I started thinking about other characters who could come in contact with the dance class. Wouldn’t old people be fun? What flavor they would add. But how would they end up in the stories? How about if the dance studio is next door to the old folks home. Perfect. You’d get a lot of old people shuffling by wanting to see what’s going on. And I think old people make wonderful characters. Think of the many traits you could give your character. If you’re familiar with the current sitcom, King of Queens, think of the father played by Jerry Stiller. Is he not perfect? I think he is one of the greatest characters ever invented on TV. But that’s just my opinion.

And what about my character, Booker Diggs, who in an earlier story of mine was a beer drinking fishing junkie who lost a bet and had to take dance lessons. Turns out he loves it. What a great character to have in the dance studio on a regular basis! I just got chills.

I could go on and on, but enough already. You get the point. You probably don’t find this as exciting as I do, but isn’t it neat to see what has blossomed after just creating an imaginary character? You can do this too! Just please don’t take mine.

Even if you are a storyteller who doesn’t write his own stories, you can still take the time to develop the character in the story you are retelling. Even the good old Jack tale could benefit from a little character development. Just take some time to sit down and think about that character. This is what will make your story relevant to your audience. Then let those qualities shine through in what he says and does. I promise your story will be better for it and your audience will appreciate that you have a character that they can believe in.

I wish you all the best and hope that something in this rambling of mine made sense. Remember that stories aren’t about the plot, they’re about the people. And if you’re having trouble making up some people, good grief, go sit in the airport for an hour and take your journal.

Happy creating!

With the holiday season quickly approaching, it makes sense to talk about how to put stories together to form a holiday show. Christmas is usually my biggest season with the number of holiday parties (churches, businesses, private parties, etc) that are looking for entertainment. So I’m going to show you how I put together a Christmas show. You will find that this process can be easily applied no matter where you take your storytelling.

I’ve made a list of the process that I go through to put a show together. I am using Christmas as an example, but you can see how it would work no matter what your theme.

1. Start by thinking where you plan on taking your show, and what kind of audience you want to target. For the sake of example, let’s say that you want to do a show for kids. You will probably have to be more specific than that because performing for toddlers requires something different than performing for fifth graders. Let’s say that you want to reach a wide span of ages. So we’ll focus on first through fifth grades.

2. Then think about what kind of message or theme you would like to have. In this case we have already decided that it’s Christmas. I can tell you right now, that you may have trouble selling that to the schools so you might want to call it a holiday program. Or call it a Christmas program and sell it to churches. It’s up to you.

3. Decide on a message or a common theme that you want to have in your show. I’m going to choose “Christmas around the world” as a theme for this example. If you want to use that theme, go ahead. If everybody did a show on that theme they would still be different because we would choose different ways to do that. So our theme is Christmas is around the world, and we want to show how children in other cultures celebrate Christmas. Not all cultures celebrate Christmas. So you may decide to change your theme and do something about holiday traditions in other cultures. Or do something different - like Christmas through the ages in America - the traditions back through time. Your options are endless.

4. Now decide the length of your show. I would suggest 45 minutes - no matter what you do or where. And I would recommend that you do not do one story that is 45 minutes long. I suggest that you do short pieces (all five minutes or less) and piece them together. You might want to have some extra stories ready in case someone asks you to perform longer. And because you are putting short pieces together, you have the flexibility to take away pieces if there are any last minute scheduling changes, or if you are asked to do a thirty-minute show. There have been cases where I was about to walk on stage and was told that I needed to cut ten minutes because we were behind schedule. Be prepared to be flexible.

5. Now choose stories that represent your theme. Find stories about how children celebrate Christmas all over the world. Look in libraries or on the internet. If you have relatives from other countries, ask them, and you will have some personal stories in there too. You could talk about food, costumes, songs, toys, parades, Christmas hymns and where they originated, etc.

6. Find things to put in between your stories that will break them up yet tie them together as well. You may want to read a poem, sing a song, do a dance, etc.

7. Find other things that will make your show interesting and/or educational. If you are good with Power Point, bring pictures. Dress in costume. Bring props that represent the different areas of the world. Have music playing in the background. Do an audience participation game. Ask them questions. Bring a doll from each area you talk about. These are just ideas. I’m sure you can come up with others.

8. Put your stories together so that there is a good balance. Alternate the funny with the serious. Don’t do two long stories and then three short ones. Do a short, a long, and then a short.

9. Now learn your stories and practice your show.

10. Give it a catchy title that will make people want to come. I kind of like “Christmas Around the World” as the title. But you can choose whatever works for you.

11. You might want to design some sort of picture to accompany the title. Clip art is fine. Or try drawing something yourself. Be careful with clipart and make sure that it is not copyright protected.

12. Write a one-paragraph description of the show that will make people want to come.

13. Do a flyer or a brochure or a postcard about the show and send it out to groups who may be interested. People starting booking for Christmas shows in early October all the way through November.

14. Decide how much you want to charge for your show and how much you are willing to negotiate

15. If you have the means, tape the show on your laptop, burn it on CD, and make copies. Put on a cute label with your contact information. Sell the CD at the event.

16. Ask clients if they have the means to videotape it. Wouldn’t it be great to get it on tape? Then you can sell it at all of your future events, year after year.

17. Once you have performed your show ask your client to write a testimonial letter about that show (referencing the show in their letter) and then you can send it with your flyer the next time you try to sell that show.

Now wasn’t that easy? Good luck putting together your own show.

Good grief. Is it already time to do another article? By the time my term is up, I might have to resort to plagiarism. Just kidding. I would like for these articles to flow in some sort of logical progression - only my brain is anything but logical. So some topics may be out of order due to my state of mind at the time. If you are not satisfied, I will happily return your money. Anyway, it makes sense to me that the next topic of discussion should be story crafting. I will combine some basic tips in creating a story with my own original One-Sentence approach to story writing.

But I’m not a writer you may be saying to yourself. This article can’t possibly help me. I use stories that have been written by other people. If this is you, please flatter me and at least read the rest of the article. Even if you don’t consider yourself a writer. If you are a storyteller who takes a story and retells it, baby I got news for you, you are rewriting it. Whether you like it or not. Whether you’re good at it or not. Whether you put it down on paper or not. That’s what you are doing. You are taking the story and making it your own by adding your own flavor, and flavor includes words. Unless you are memorizing stories and repeating them word for word, in which case you are really an actress. And you could still probably benefit from a few basic tips. My head is starting to hurt from all this on-paper convincing. So I’ll proceed.

I have watched many storytellers, comedians, and speakers in my day, and have noticed something that many have in common. They use too many words. If you remember one thing from this article, remember this: It’s all about saying more with less. I repeat: It’s all about saying more with less.

Let’s take a moment to rethink how we view a story. Sometimes as storytellers we will set out to write/tell a story that is, for example, twenty minutes long. Or we’ll have a certain amount of time and we’ll make our story fit that time. STOP. I want you to stop going at a story from this direction. Start thinking of how to tell the story as quickly as you can. And I don’t mean quick like you’re on speed, I mean quick as in sticking only to the necessary details.

You see, that’s where many of us mess up with our stories. We think that more words make a better story. WRONG. Please believe me when I say that the more words you add to your story, the stronger your chances are of losing your audience. A point is best made with two sentences instead of two paragraphs. A poignant moment is best when kept short and sweet rather than four pages of “how sad am I.” A joke is much funnier when you tell it in thirty seconds, than when you tell it in twenty minutes. If you’ve ever been to a cocktail party, you can certainly attest to that.

When I performed for the cruise ships I told a story that was forty-five minutes long. This was just this past April, so you see that I don’t even follow my own advice. The show was a success but I still asked the client what I could do to make it better. She told me to do forty-five minutes of short stories, rather than one long story. She said that the attention span of the average American is short, and getting shorter. You have to give them breaks. Like it or not. So I came back and spent the summer reworking my portfolio of stories so that every story I have is ten minutes or less. Now when I do a forty-five minute show, I have lots and lots of variety. I have noticed a tremendous improvement in my act.

This is not to say that long stories are bad. That is not true. And thanks to the wonderful nature of storytelling fans, there will always be an audience who will appreciate them. What I’m saying is that a story should include only what needs to be said. And often you will find that you took four pages to say what could have been said in four paragraphs.

A storytelling hero of mine (Bil Lepp) once said that when you tell a story you are giving your listener a back pack. And every detail you give them is put into their back pack. And as you travel through the story, they are climbing that hill with you - carrying a back pack that gets heavier and heavier. Don’t make them get to the top of the hill (end of the story) and realize that they carried that heavy pack (all those details) for nothing. If this still doesn’t make sense to you, think of movies you’ve seen where they introduced a character in the beginning and you kept waiting for them to show why that character was brought into the story. Or you see a scene and wonder why that was put in there when it had nothing to do with the story. Or you hear a joke that had about ten minutes of information that had nothing to do with the punch line. Or you fell asleep listening to someone use three pages to describe a meadow.

But just making your story shorter is not the answer. It’s the start. It starts with cutting out those huge blocks of unnecessary information. But beyond just cutting, it’s about changing the words you use. It’s about finding a creative way to say something in one sentence, using words that another writer/teller wouldn’t use. This is where we fall into the area of “it’s not how many words you use, but what words you choose.”

If a sun is hot, I want you to show me how hot. If someone is tired, I want you to show me how tired. I want your characters to have names (nicknames even better) and stores to have names. I want your characters to have flaws - in their personalities and in their personal appearance. I want you to take your stories and cut. And cut. And cut again. And don’t expect for this to be easy. But it does get easier. And when you look over your newly edited story later, you will see how much better it is. And you will even have time left over to tell another one. My one-sentence approach to story writing is not something that can be taught in one article. But I’m going to give you some basics that I am sure will help you create a better story. And it starts with telling your story in one sentence.

That’s right. Tell me what your story is about (including the message or meaning) in one sentence. Don’t whine, if third graders can do this (and they can) then so can you. Let me give you an example:

My story is about a girl who travels to a distant land and finds out that there is no place like the home she left behind.

In case you guessed, it’s The Wizard of Oz, and many of you will have a different sentence because people get different meanings out of stories. Don’t over think it, just understand that I want you to start with that one sentence that tells what your story is about. You’d be surprised how many storytellers I have asked that question, and they weren’t able to tell me. That’s because often the story isn’t really about anything more than a plot. Or more importantly, the storyteller isn’t clear on how to verbalize what the story is about. This is important folks. You need to know why you are telling that story, and what it means to you and to your audience. You may not put it into words, but knowing it will make you passionate about your message.

I’m not telling you to tell a one-sentence story. And I’m not saying that one sentence is supposed to be the start of your story or even anywhere in the story. I’m just changing the way you approach the creative process. Instead of taking an idea and starting on page one….start with the one sentence. This works if you’re creating your own story, or making one your own. This sentence doesn’t have to be interesting or have neat words in it. It’s just a sentence that really sums up what the story is about. And remember that it must include the meaning. Don’t tell me it is the story of a girl who gets to go to a ball and meets her prince. That doesn’t cut it. If you are having trouble at this stage of the process (bless your heart) send me an email and I’ll help you through it. Practice with some stories that you already tell.

After you have told the story in one sentence, think about what the listener needs to know. Make a list (boring I know, but do it anyway) of the necessary details. What is imperative that we know about this story? Do we need to know how Cinderella’s stepfather died? No. And if you spend three pages talking about it I’ll smack you. Do we need to know where her stepsisters went to school? Do we need a description of the house she lived in? No. No. And no. I’ve got news for you. If a detail isn’t necessary to the story, don’t include it. Especially at this stage of the process. Later you may throw some extra details in, but I assure you that they will serve a purpose too.

Once you know what your story’s about and you have your necessary details, just connect them together to form the plot. You have put together the story. And it should be pretty boring. That’s because you haven’t added the flavor yet. Those little details that make a story interesting. The next part is what I refer to as “adding the flavor.” This article is getting long enough already, so I’m going to make a list of some of my top suggestions and a brief description of each. You can email me if you have questions.

1. Make the opening interesting. You have about a minute to get and keep their attention. Don’t waste it on “once upon a time’s” and lengthy descriptions of meadows. Open with a bang. Open with an excerpt from a later part of the story and then back up. Open with a conclusion like “last summer was the year I learned that sometimes too much fun is a bad thing.” Your goal here is to spark an interest. To tell your listener that this story is going to be different. Creating suspense is always a great thing to do in the beginning of your story.

2. Cut every unnecessary word that you can. Turn two sentences into one. And cut again. If you started with your one sentence and basic necessary information, you should be off to a good start. All you have to do is add details.

3. Find ways to describe things like nobody else would. And don’t forget to describe them. Don’t be lazy and call him a tall man, or a mean woman. Work a little. Show me how tall. Compare her to something mean. Name your people and places. Use your voices and accents. Spend time on those little details and your audience will commend you for it. Trust me.

4. Create interesting characters. Don’t make them cookie cutter people. Give them flaws. Give them unusual personality traits. It doesn’t have to be a whole paragraph. Just give them a sentence. For example: My Aunt Bitsy was a walking sponge of information - useless information for the most part - that she picked up at the drug store or the beauty parlor. (When you choose details to put in your story, try to use the details that are necessary to the story. Describe character flaws that later explain their actions.)

5. Some details serve a purpose other than furthering the plot. I use details to make jokes, to add humor, to set a scene. The One-Sentence approach is not about doing away with those details. It’s about having a reason for using them. Just know the reason and I’ll let you keep them. Kind of like what Milbre Burch said one time at workshop she taught us. She was talking about gestures. She asked someone if they intended to use their arms so much. She said it wasn’t a matter of whether they should, but whether they intended to. It’s okay to use them, if you are intentional about it. Does that make sense? Email me if you don’t understand and I’ll explain better. 6. Show instead of tell. This is harder to do, but the more you practice the better you will get. Take out phrases like “he was thinking about doing this” or “and then she decided she was going to say…” Just have the person do it.

7. Don’t feel the need to connect every moment together in your plot. It’s okay to jump ahead. Just make sure your listener knows what you’re doing. I have a story that is only about four paragraphs long. And each paragraph covers a different time period. I just make sure that the sentence opening SHOWS (not tells) the listener that time has passed.

8. Sometimes a story can be one moment. You don’t have to back up and give information about how they came to be there. You don’t have to explain what happened later. Many of my stories start with me describing a moment. And often the story will end without me ever having come out of that moment. Again, remember we only need to know the necessary information.

9. When you make a point, make it once. Don’t repeat it or find three other ways to say it. When you drill a point too much you will find that the reader/audience no longer buys into it. Sometimes it’s better not to even make the point. Let the reader come to their own conclusion. You want to avoid sounding like you’re preaching a message. If you tell your story well, you won’t need to end with the message.

10. Keep endings short and sweet. The longer they draw out, the more your audience starts to get bored.

11. Be careful of true personal stories - they tend to be more interesting to you than other people. This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t write about true personal stuff, just try to be objective about it. I run into this quite often. My business is comedy and so my objective is making people laugh. I know how to write jokes and how to write stories that make people laugh. And I think I’m pretty good at it. Until I tell something that really happened in our family. Most of the time it bombs. Because much of what made that story funny is only going to be funny to my family and those who were there. I lose all sense of objectivity because it actually happened to me. This is hard to explain. But try to get someone to help you - to listen and tell you if it is funny. Or how it could be funnier.

12. True stories need some lying. Many people are afraid to alter the details of a true story. “But it’s true, that’s the way it really happened,” they’ll tell me. But that doesn’t make it interesting or entertaining. And that is your first goal when you take the stage - to entertain your audience. Find a good friend who can help you analyze your material.

13. The weaker the punch line, the shorter the joke. There is nothing worse than a twenty-minute joke with a weak punch line.

14. Be careful of repetition. If you’ve got a story where your character has a repeated action, then each time you walk through that repetition, walk through it faster. You can actually speed up your voice, but I want you to take some words out. The audience will forgive you when you repeat the action once verbatim, but do it again, and, heaven forbid, again, and you will annoy them. Trust me.

Darn it…. I couldn’t think of a number 15. What a bummer. I feel like I’m dangling in the middle of nowhere. Who ends on 14? But so be it. The timer on my Hamburger Helper is going off and I need to go.

That’s enough for now. This is a lot to take in, especially if it’s the first time you are hearing it. Even if you only do a couple of these, your stories will improve. And we’ll probably cover some of these again in future articles. I’m here if you have any questions.

I leave you with a challenge. Write a one-page story starting with the one-sentence approach. Add the necessary details and then add the flavor. What happens? I’d like to know. Until next month….may the force be with you. (I’m in a weird mood. No more drinking while Will takes his nap.)

There is a difference in the story that is meant to be read and the story that is meant to be told. In the October article I will discuss the art of crafting the story that is to be read. But today we’re going to talk about the story that is to be performed.

Many people have never heard of storytellers and therefore conjure up images of little old ladies with gray buns and knitted shawls, rocking on front porches holding oversized books, and using their best inside voices. No offense if you are old or have a gray bun.

Storytelling is not reading. And it is not merely memorizing a story and reciting it without the help of notes. Or at least it shouldn’t be. The art of storytelling goes a step beyond reading or reciting. It is the art of breathing life into a piece of literary work. I don’t care if you wrote it, if Shakespeare wrote it, or your Great Uncle Nester who was a fan of the sauce wrote it. I don’t care if you found it in a book or dreamed it up one night after eating too much Mexican food. The story has no life until you give it life. And each one of you will give it life in a different way. Or at least that is my hope. For a story that is merely memorized and repeated tends to sound just the like the story that three hundred other storytellers have memorized and repeated, and it starts to get a little OLD if you don’t mind me saying it out loud. Yes, my friends, not all storytelling is entertaining. Some of it is just plain BORING.

And now I must take a moment to back up my computer and wait for lightning to strike.

So how do we bring a story to life? Keep reading. I will attempt to give you some tips on how to tell your story in way that engages your listener. You see, that’s the key. It was the key when the story was written too, but now you have an audience sitting in front of you and they have a different expectation. They expect you to entertain them. They expect you to respect their time. They expect you to give them something that in some way changes their lives. I know, it sounds intimidating. It’s not. You can do it. They aren’t sitting there to find out what you know. They are sitting there to hear your story. To hear YOUR voice.

So here are some pointers to help you turn that written story into one that can be told in front of an audience:

1. Make your story CONVERSATIONAL. That is the biggest difference that I see in the written story and the performed story. The written story has every word in exactly the right place. The written story is not often written as we would talk in normal life. Tell your story in a relaxed personal manner.

2. I see so many storytellers tell a story using this weird voice that is way too dramatic, stretching out words, using crazy voice fluctuations. Now if that’s how you talk normally (bless your heart) then so be it. But you don’t normally talk like Vincent Peale in slow motion, then for heaven’s sakes, why start now? Talk to me like you would talk to anybody else. Talk to me like I’m sitting across from you at the kitchen table. Tell me the story like it really happened, not like you’re standing a hundred feet away in green tights and a feathered cap. When you talk like this, I know it’s not you. And when I know it’s not you, I am disconnecting. I want to hear YOU. I want to hear your voice. If you don’t believe me, start watching people who speak, like storytellers, comedians, or your preacher. Watch Donald Davis. When he tells a story, he is no different than when he’s not. Katherine Windham, Garrison Keillor, Bill Harley, Bil Lepp, Jeff Foxworthy, Bill Cosby, Billy Graham. When they speak people hang on every word. And when they speak, you are hearing them. When a preacher starts up a story about a little boy who had no shoes, my brain immediately starts to yawn. But when he starts a story about himself. I am engaged right away. Trust me on this. We can talk more later if you’re still not convinced.

3. Start by watching other people in conversation. Note how people interact when they talk. How they tell a story when standing at a cocktail party. How they lean in. How they lean back. How they hold their arms. How they tilt their head. How they use their arms to help tell the story. 4. Don’t talk really high. Keep your voice at a normal talking pitch. Really high indicates nervousness and can get really annoying after a while. Bring it down.

5. Don’t always talk in complete sentences. Pause in the middle of sentences. That’s how people talk. It makes it sound more real. This is hard to understand until you really start practicing it. Then you’ll see.

6. Take your time. Breathe. Smile. Talk a little and then think for a second or two. You are not there to get every line out before you forget. Savor the words. Let your audience have a chance to savor them. I’m bad at this, but I’m getting better.

7. Change the pace of your story. Get faster when the story gets more exciting. Get slower and softer when the story gets sad or takes on a deep meaning. Get louder when you get more excited. Just don’t spit. Take it from me, audiences don’t like that.

8. Don’t be afraid to interrupt your story with your own thoughts. I do this all the time in my stories. I will make comments like, “Well, everybody knows, information you get when you’re having your roots done is sacred, and not to be questioned!” Take little tangents here and there. As long as they are planned. Don’t just stand up there and ramble. We can tell when you just want to hear yourself talk.

9. Make eye contact with your audience. Look all around the room. Don’t leave any side of the room out. Talk to them. Even when you can’t see them. Trust me. A day will come when you are standing on a stage under bright lights and you can’t see a soul. You must act as if you can see them. You must still make them feel as if you are talking to them.

10. And sometimes you can look out into the distance when you are talking about something really moving. I use this technique to make my audience think that I’m so engrossed in my story that I’ve forgotten they are there. It’s also a great stalling technique if you can’t remember the next line.

11. Make sure your story has a mix of fast and slow, high and low, funny and sad. Try to feel when it’s time to bring them up or take them down. This is where a partner can help with your timing.

12. When you first read the story, learn it in blocks without worrying about every little word and every little thing that happened. Just learn the major points of the story and practice telling the story without any notes, as if summing it up for your neighbor. As if you only have thirty seconds to recap. Pretend you are telling a friend about a movie she should see, but you only have a minute. This will help you get a good general overview of your story. And it will help you to see what the key points of that story are. Stories for the stage become a whole lot shorter than the written versions. YOU LEARN TO SAY MORE WITH LESS.

13. Condense your stories. Stick to the important details, and the details that will add flavor. You don’t need every plot detail or every thought the character has. You can skip around in time. You can drop down into one moment of the story. More words don’t make a better story. It’s saying less, and using BETTER words. I’ll get into this more in the next article.

14. I recommend that you focus on shorter stories that can be put together, rather than twenty or thirty-minute stories. The attention span of the average person is short. They like “commercials” and they find it hard to hang on for that long. You can still have a show that is two hours - just a show that is two hours of shorter pieces. And I like it this way because there is less pressure on the story. If they hate it, good grief, it’s only five minutes. They’ll like the next one. 15. Use dialogue and don’t bother with saying “he said” and “she said.” Just say it.

16. Take out phrases that tell us what you’re about to say. Find one sentence to describe a scene instead of four. Use better details and less words. Don’t repeat what you just said or take too many sentences to drive a point home. These are just some random tips that I will bring up in the next article too so don’t get freaked out if it’s too much.

17. If you focus on cutting and cutting and cutting and cutting, then you will start to see that much of what you had in your story was unnecessary.

18. Tell your story from another perspective. If you can’t really relate to the main character, is there someone you can relate to. If there are three hundred storytellers telling that same Jack Tale, how will you be different? And if you say that you’ll tell it wearing a hat I’m going to smack you.

19. Tell us how the story affects you. Why it touches your heart. What you learned from it. The impact that it has on you. Why it has become your story.

20. I really wish I could think of one more tip so it would be a nice even round twenty. But I can’t. And you know that as soon as I send this to you, I will think of ten more tips that are definitely better than any listed here.

That’s all for today. Sorry for any mistakes I didn’t catch or any tips you don’t agree with. If you do one or two of these, your story will be better. We’ll get into more details on how to craft stories in my next article which will talk about my one-sentence approach to story crafting. That article will show you how to say more with less and basic writing techniques that will help you make a better story.

If you have any questions, shoot me an email. I hope you are writing in your journals. Until we meet again - enjoy the journey!