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Posted on April 27th, 2014, by

The family ties are a natural laboratory for young kids to learn about the world. It is a safe and protected place to learn how to interact with other people. There are lots of chances for young kids to evolve an acknowledgement of social ties with all family members who may be nice and loving or mean and hostile. Also, there are opportunities to utilize the cognitive skills to persuade others, teach or imitate the actions of your relatives. The positive advantages of creating warm and nice family relationships may last the entire lifetime, whilst more hard early relationships can be associated with the poor developmental outcomes. That is why this paper is meant to discuss the birth of my cousin and the first time I held him. It was the most significant positive event that occurred before I reached adulthood.

Second Child in the Large Family

When my cousin was born I was a kid by myself and I may forget some details. However, I remember quite well the feeling when I was holding my cousin and the words my aunt said, that he is so small, but he already loves me as an older brother. Since then I always feel certain responsibility for him.

Sigmund Freud believed the events in the childhood may have a crucial influence on the conduct as adults. He also thought people had practically no free will to make options in life. Instead people’s conduct is determined by the childhood experiences and unconscious mind. Freud, the founder of psychoanalysis, clarified the human mind as like the iceberg, with a top of it being observable, that is people’s observable conduct, but it is the unconscious, underwater mind that has the most, impacting the conduct (Freud, 2010).

There are lots of discussions concerning child evolvement psychologists about whether or not birth of the younger relatives has an influence on a child’s personality and conduct. In other words, there are some individuals who actually believe that whether a kid is the “elder”¯ or “younger”¯ in a large family may determine some of his individual features. Others assert that these theories concerning the influence of birth order are not true. The genuine truth is most likely that birth order may play a role in influencing the child’s personality but it is only single factor out of lots of factors, which contribute to the total personality that a child evolves.

The first man to assert that order of birth was crucial to a child’s psychological evolvement was a psychologist Adler who worked in this sphere during the 20th century. Adler thought that kids born first in the large family like mine ended up having to accept an uncharacteristic degree of accountability than the other kids, which could be followed by the psychological troubles. Similarly, he thought the youngest kids in the large family, even if they are not siblings to the eldest kids, would lack any necessity to take accountability for themselves or other people and thus would have issues concerning this shortage (Adler, 2009). The birth order approaches, which have evolved over time expand upon and change those ideas offered first by Adler. However, I agree that being the older child in the large family, I have become more responsible in comparison to my cousin.

Oldest kids usually often bear the burden of accountability for the younger brothers, sisters or cousins. They are put in a care providing and defending role for the younger children and thus, may tend to be more accountable in the lives in common. This may result in a wish to control the individuals and circumstances around them. Oldest kids are traditionally the “good”¯ kids of the large family who follow the rules and set the examples for younger kids. Positive characteristics, which are traditionally associated with the oldest children comprise their ambition and leadership capabilities (Dunn, 1993). I definitely agree with that as I used to be in charge for my young cousin. This forces me to control every situation and event that happens in my adult life.

Initially, I spent some time being an only child in my large family which consisted of many relatives. I was the first in the parents’, aunt’s, uncle’s and grandparents lives. Unlike some families, after my cousin’s birth I was not suffering from anger or envy. I believe I learnt to be a good example for a younger child in a family. I was the first to have dates, participate in sportive events and the first to resist parental authority and discuss parental expectations. Since I was growing in a healthy family environment, I was exhibiting leadership qualities and prepared to be a trendsetter. Still, considering that fact that my family is large I was burdened with too much adult accountability. Probably it made me lose my childhood too fast.

I can not assert that merely by an asset of being a first kid, I was a sort of experiment for my parents, a mixture of impulse and trial-and-error. My grandparents, aunt and uncle helped my young parents. So, they were not by-the-book parents, extremely attentive, stringent with rules, and extremely neurotic concerning the smallest details. Similarly, when my cousin was born my experienced parents helped the young parents. That is why I believe my cousin and I have not become perfectionist, always striving to please our parents.


Every child in a large family possesses an exceptional personality. A factor that may influence dissimilarities in personality is birth order. Every child has a certain place in a family based on when he or she arrived. Taking into consideration my own experience, I believe that the birth order and family’s treatment all together influence the development of a young personality. In short, it is not necessarily the fact that I was born earlier that I grew up to be a leader. Rather, it is the fact that my family treated me as the firstborn kid that shaped my behavior and attitude. Today, I can manage all problems rapidly and easily as I had a perfect practice.

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