Often we face situations when we have to cope with serious problems, such as an aggression from the part of other people. For recently, I have got a conflict with my colleague who was apparently disappointed with something even before he encountered me. In fact, the problem was that I did not talk to the customer when my colleague asked about because I was busy at the moment and it was actually his job to do this. However, he was apparently nervous and, probably in response, I grew nervous too and use not a very effective coping strategy ”“ reaction formation, which only increased the psychological tension since I exaggerated a bit the behavior of my colleague and, eventually I understood that we could probably find a compromise.
As a rule, I use intellectualization, the strategy which helps me assess the situation and my behavior objectively, regardless of my emotions. In such a way, I can better understand whether I acted right or wrong. At the same time, it helps me better understand behavior and motives of other people. Though sometimes, I use rationalization, but I do not think that this strategy is very effective because it rather leads me to self-deception than to adequate assessment and analysis of the situation.
This is why I think that the intellectualization strategy is the most effective because it provides ample opportunities to think over the situation, reject all emotions, which actually cause practically all conflicts and can lead to irrevocable outcomes. In contrast, when I can think over the situation calmly and objectively I can arrive to the solution of my problems which are effective, as a rule.