The following discussion about creating readable theses and dissertations (a) distinguishes between good writing and bad writing, (b) suggests ways of rendering the task efficient and less burdensome, and (c) addresses the matter of writing an abstract of your work.

Good Writing, Bad Writing

We are defining good writing as "writing that is easily and accurately understood by the audience for whom it's intended." In contrast, bad writing is "writing that is difficult to understand and/or is misunderstood by the audience for whom it's intended."

When the contents of scholarly journals, books, theses, and dissertations are judged by this standard of ease and accuracy of reader comprehension, it's apparent that there is a considerable quantity of bad writing in academia. So if you accept our definition of good writing, then you may find the following paragraphs useful. Our purpose is to describe characteristics of good and bad writing in terms of (a) the intended reading audience, (b) expression and communication, c) organizing the manuscript, (d) the meanings of key terms, and (e) preparing readers for what they will encounter.

The intended reading audience

Your most immediate audience consists of the members of your advisory committee--the people who decide whether your document warrants the award of a graduate degree. Therefore, at the very least your writing style and the way you organize your manuscript must satisfy those members' standards of acceptability. However, most students hope their work will appeal to others as well-other faculty members, graduate students, journal editors, perhaps book publishers, and even an informed general public. Consequently, you will find it helpful if, at the outset of the writing task, you determine which sort of audience--or audiences--you wish to reach. This decision can influence the vocabulary you employ, the sorts examples you include, and the manner in which you explain your research procedures. For example, expecting that your readers will be prepared to assign suitable meanings to technical words (phonemes, family nuclearization and gentrification, transfer of learning, endorphins, macroeconomics, homosexual mentorship, chi-square) will affect your writing differently than if you imagine your readers won't know what you mean by such terms.

You can probably expand your audience to include a greater variety of readers by employing such techniques as those described in the following passages.

Expression and communication

Bad writing can result from an author's failing to recognize the distinction between expressing and communicating. When you write solely to express what you think and feel, you can use any style that gets your notions out, so long as you can conclude that "I put down exactly what I feel." However, your way of expressing what you feel may not make much sense to someone who tries to read your document. Therefore, writing a thesis or dissertation requires not only that you express yourself but also that your intended readers readily and precisely grasp your meanings. Hence, your writing should both express and communicate. We are convinced that the likelihood you will communicate effectively can be increased if you approach your writing from a reader's vantage point. By reader's vantage point we mean that instead of planning simply to "put down what I know about my project," you say to yourself, Let's assume that I know nothing about this project's topic, and I want to understand what it's all about, what was done, and why. In that event, what questions would I want the author to answer; and how would I like to have those answers worded?

By adopting a reader's perspective, you can find yourself defining more terms, explaining procedures in greater detail, including more clarifying examples, and placing ideas in a psychologically more sensible sequence than would be true if you had intended only to "express what I had in mind."

Organizing your manuscript

The pattern in which you will organize the final version of your thesis or dissertation may already have been determined for you by your faculty advisor or by traditions in your department or in your academic discipline. That pattern may take a form similar to the following one that we identified in Chapter 3 as a popular structure.

However, even if your chapter headings have been predetermined for you, the way the material within chapters will be arranged usually depends on your own decision. In any case, you face a task of determining the order in which readers will meet the contents of your work. One way to approach that task is to adopt the reader's vantage point described above. Here is a series of three steps that such an approach can involve. (Your may recognize this approach as much like one we introduced in Chapter 3.) The steps are illustrated in reference to an envisioned study entitled Family Correlates of Academic Performance.

Step 1. Ask yourself: If I knew nothing about this project's topic and I wanted to understand what it's all about, what questions would I want the author to answer; and how would I like to have those answers worded?

            Precisely what is meant by family characteristics?

  Is information already available about family characteristics and students' academic achievement? If so, how can that information be obtained, and what does that information tell about the relationship between family characteristics and students' academic performance?

            What do the results mean?

            Is there a causal relation between family characteristics and students' academic performance? In other words, do family traits influence academic performance or vice versa?

Step 2. Ask yourself: In my imagined role as a reader, in what sequence would I want the author to answer my questions?Your response: Rearrange your list of questions into what you regard as a psychologically sound order, that is, in an order that you believe a typical reader would wish to meet answers. Probably some of your questions will be subparts of more general ones. This means that it would be helpful to cast your list in outline form, with major (level 1) items representing chapters and with minor items subsumed under major items to represent issues addressed within chapters. During this process, you may think of additional questions that should be incorporated into the outline. In the following illustration, each additional question is identified by an asterisk (^*).The first two questions in our randomly ordered list identified the overall issue that the hypothetical study is intended to investigate.

Step 3. Ask yourself: As I consider the contents of each chapter in turn, can I identify additional, more detailed questions for which I seek answers? If so, in what order can those questions profitably be addressed within the chapter?Your response: At Step 2 you began identifying kinds of material that would compose the contents of each chapter. At Step 3 you can continue this process in greater detail by approaching each chapter in the same way you approached the task of identifying the principal contents of the entire dissertation. That is, you (a) generate questions at random, then (b) reorganize the questions in what appears to be a psychologically sound sequence from a reader's vantage point. In way of illustration, consider the following outline of the first half of our imagined Chapter 5 that could result from applying the Step 3 process.Chapter 5: The Compiled Results

The job of identifying the remaining parts of Chapter 5 would then continue with our generating questions about how the classified data are to be summarized in preparation for interpretations.

It should be apparent that the outline resulting from such a planning approach will be subject to revision and improvement at each stage of the research until the thesis or dissertation arrives at its final version.

Meanings of key terms

The act of reading can be defined as "the process of bringing meanings to the words authors use." An author's task then becomes one of conveying new meanings to readers by casting familiar words into unfamiliar patterns. In effect, new meanings are generated by sentences that represent novel arrangements of already known words. By the same token, incomprehensible or mistaken reading results whenever readers fail to assign the author's intended meanings to the author's words. Hence, if authors believe readers may not accurately grasp their meanings, those authors should take pains to delineate precisely what they intend, using such approaches to definitions.

So, if your writing is to be correctly understood, it's important for readers to bring the same meanings to words as the meanings you have in mind. Such accurate communication is more likely to occur if you clearly define for your readers the key terms you use than if you neglect to elucidate those terms. But, apparently--for any of several reasons--writers often fail to clarify important words. Some authors of theses and dissertations apparently cannot imagine that there could be any question about what their expressions mean. Some others may fear that the kind of reader to whom their writing is directed would feel insulted if they, as the writer, paused to define concepts. This is the fear that such readers would resent the author's adopting the condescending habit of "talking down" to them.

However, it is useful to recognize that two sorts of audiences--both the uninformed and the well-informed--appreciate precise definitions of critical words and phrases. Uninformed readers profit from a definition because they have no idea what the meaning of the term might be. In effect, the word or phrase is entirely new to them, so they need examples of how the author intends it. In contrast, well-informed readers have the opposite problem. They know multiple meanings that can be assigned to the term. What they need is an explanation of which of several potential meanings is the correct one for the present setting. So both types of readers can be well served by an explanation of terms, an explanation phrased in a fashion that both types can accept without feeling confused or patronized. In way of illustration, consider the following explanation of two quite ordinary words--education and religion--that appeared at the beginning of a study of diverse modes of religious education around the world.

Because there exists no universal agreement about the meaning of either religion or education, there is likewise no agreement about what constitutes the field of religious education. Therefore, at the outset of this study of religious education around the world, it is useful to recognize which meanings will be assigned to those two terms.

Writers who conceptualize religion in a broadly inclusive way define it variously as "the collective expression of human values," as "the zealous and devout pursuit of any objective," or as "a system of values or preferences--an inferential value system." Such definitions are so broad that they encompass not only the belief systems of Christianity, Islam, and Hinduism but also those of communism, democracy, logical positivism, and even anarchism.

Other writers place far greater limitations on the term religion, proposing that a conceptual scheme qualifying as religion must be an integrated system of specified components, including the nature of a supreme being or of gods (theology), the origin and condition of the universe (cosmology), rules governing human relations (ethics, moral values), the proper behavior of people toward superhuman powers (rites, rituals, worship), the nature of knowledge and its proper sources (epistemology), and the goal of life (teleology). Under this second sort of definition, Christianity, Islam, and Hinduism are religions but communism, democracy, logical positivism, and anarchism are not.

The second of these conceptions of religion seems to be the one intended by most people who write or speak about religious education, so it is the one adopted in the present study for identifying matters which rightly belong in the field of religious education.

Just as religion has been conceived in various ways by different writers, so has education. In its broadest sense, education can be equated with learning. And learning can be defined as "changes in mental process and overt behavior as a result of experience." However, in the following study, education is defined in a narrower sense to mean "the activity carried on by a society's institutions of systematic, planned instruction." Such a definition eliminates from consideration kinds of learning informally acquired during people's daily social life, as through their conversations in the family or through models of behavior offered by their companions. That definition eliminates as well learning acquired through the incidental use of libraries, book shops, newspapers, and recreational radio and television.

When the foregoing preferred definitions are combined, they identify the realm of religious education as that of "systematic, planned instruction in beliefs about the nature of the cosmos and of supernatural powers, about rites and worship, about personal moral values and the ethics of human relations, and about the meaning and goal of life." ( Thomas, 1985, p. 4275)

Consider three devices the author used in the foregoing passage. First, he noted alternative definitions of each target term--religion and education. This device not only enables readers to recognize varied meanings, but also suggests that the author is well versed in his field of research. Second, the writer identified which of the alternative definitions would be used throughout the ensuing account. Third, he indicated how the chosen definition excludes from the study certain philosophical positions (communism, democracy, etc.) and sources of skill and knowledge (family conversations, libraries, etc.) that readers might otherwise include in their conceptions of religion and education.

Preparing readers for what they will encounter

Mystery novels and detective stories quite properly confront readers with sudden surprises. But such unanticipated events are seldom, if ever, desired features of research studies. Consumers of theses and dissertations are better served if continually informed about what to expect ahead.Your can satisfy your readers' need to know what to expect in your document if, at each stage of the narrative, you apply that oft-quoted, tripartite advice about how to structure a speech.

First, you tell the audience what sort of matter you are going to explain. Next, you explain that matter in detail. Finally, at the end you summarize for the audience what it was you had explained.

We've adopted such an approach in this book. Our first chapter offered an overview of the volume's contents and organizational plan. Then each subsequent chapter opened with a description of what that chapter would include. Next, in the body of the chapter we provided the detailed description of the chapter's topics. Finally, at the end of the chapter where appropriate, the planning checklist served to summarize the topics that had been addressed in detail.One way to determine whether your presentation has properly prepared readers for what they will meet is to ask a sample of readers if they were surprised at, or puzzled about, what they met at some place in your narrative. In effect, your presentation failed to prepare them properly if, at any point, they found themselves wondering, "What's this all about?" or "Why take up such a matter at this juncture?" or "How is this relevant?"

A Few Details about the Mechanics of Writing

Perhaps you are well in control of all the mechanical aspects of producing your document. If so, you may wish to skip this section, which offers suggestions about a few details that usually warrant students' attention at the final stage of their project. Those details concern (a) the question of using first-person pronouns and contractions in your document, (b) typing the manuscript, and (c) editing and proofreading it.

Personal pronouns and contractions

Traditionally, students have not been allowed to use the pronouns I, me, or we in theses and dissertations. Their need to circumvent such direct self references has led to a pair of stratagems intended to distance writers from what they have written. One ploy has been that of referring to one's self as "the present author" or "the writer" or "the investigator." Another has involved the grammatical device known as "third-person omniscient," implying that the author's statements are objective truths rather than personal opinions or interpretations. Here are four such distancing phrasings:

However, in more recent times some faculty members have permitted--or even urged--students to use first-person pronouns, in the belief that doing so more accurately reflects the subjective judgments that enter into research efforts. Thus, occasionally we find theses and dissertations in which I, me, we, us, mine, and our appear. Consequently, it can be important for you to learn the opinions of your advisory committee about which personal-pronoun practices are acceptable in the final version of your own project.

As another tradition in writing style, contractions have not been permitted in theses and dissertations. Such colloquialisms as doesn't, don't, can't, won't, they've, ain't and similar others are proscribed. The only acceptable forms are does not, do not, cannot, will not, they have, and are not. Unless your advisory committee directs otherwise, you are wise to avoid contractions, even though contractions are becoming more common in textbooks. As you've noticed, throughout this book we've used both first-person pronouns and contractions so as to lend the writing a conversational flavor.

Typing the final version

Two decades ago, nearly all final versions of theses and dissertations were produced on a typewriter. Today that is rarely the case. Nearly all are the result of a word processing program in a computer. Because of the advantages of computers' ability to correct errors, check spelling automatically, and print multiple copies of professional-quality documents, more students produce their own final versions than was true in the past. But if you don't plan to produce the final manuscript yourself, you may find it useful to ask faculty members or your fellow graduate students how to find a first-rate word-processing person whom you can hire to do the job for you. By first-rate we mean someone who has had successful experience typing theses and dissertations, is not unduly expensive, and can be counted on to finish the task within the time period you specify.

If you are doing your own word processing, always back up each portion of your work on a floppy disk that you keep in a different location than the place in which you have your computer. The halls of graduate schools are replete with horror stories about former students whose projects were the victims of fire, flood, loss, thievery, and the like when authors had not bothered to back up their work.

Copyediting and proofreading

Even if your are already a skilled writer, you may value the help of a copy editor who can identify weaknesses in your document--typographical errors, grammatical mistakes, the misplacement of topics, confusing explanations, undefined terms, infelicitous phrasings. Your faculty advisor or fellow graduate students can perhaps direct you to a skilled copy editor or proofreader. But you should recognize that not everyone who has majored in English will be an efficient copy editor.

Some students expect their advisor or members of their supervising committee to do the copyediting. However, most advisors and committee members are unwilling to take on that task, particularly if the manuscript needs multiple repairs. Faculty members' attention is most often dedicated toward correcting difficulties with the document's organization, the validity of its contents, and the author's line of reasoning rather than toward spelling errors and awkward syntax.

Resources

Further aid in producing a well written thesis or dissertations is offered in

Writing an Abstract

Students are typically required to include an abstract as part of the final version of their study. The abstract is expected to serve as a concise summary of the research project--its objectives, data-gathering methods, results, and perhaps a proposal about the significance and applications of the results. The maximum allowable length of abstracts is usually specified in the university's or department's guidebook for preparing theses and dissertations. The abstract is usually located at the beginning of the manuscript, where it provides readers a brief overview of the entire project.

Abstracts can have additional uses as well. They are available for publicizing a student's work in such resources as Dissertation Abstracts International, which acquaints readers around the world with descriptions of dissertation projects from leading higher-education institutions. And if you envision publishing your study in condensed form as an article in an academic journal or as a chapter in someone's compilation of studies related to your topic, the abstract furnishes the editor a preview of your work.

Here, then, is an example of an abstract from a PhD dissertation at the State University of New York, Stony Brook.

Author: Alka Kuldeep Sapat.

Abstract: The major research goal of the dissertation is to explain variations in state environmental policy innovations and to analyze the importance of the American states as experimental policy laboratories for the federal government. Innovations research theory and studies of regulatory enforcement were fused together to develop a theoretical model explaining variations in the adoption of state innovations. Chapters 1-3 provide the introduction, a literature review, and a discussion of the theoretical framework of the dissertation. The next two chapters explore the relative influence of political institutions, industry and environmental interest groups, and economic factors on state adoption of hazardous waste and groundwater protection innovations; in doing so, a distinction is drawn between "consensual" and "conflictual" innovations. Data for the dissertation was drawn from secondary sources and from a survey of state administrators in environmental protection agencies. Event-history analysis was used to test the model of policy innovation. The results indicated that the ideology and capability of institutional actors were more important than the role of interest groups and the severity of the problem in both policy areas and for both "consensual" and "conflictual" innovations. The last part of the dissertation focuses on the vertical diffusion of policy innovations into the federal level and actors in this process. The policy ramifications of the study for devolution and state-federal relations are addressed in the conclusion. ( Sapat, 1998, p. 308-A)

If you do, indeed, publish a version of your work as a journal article, you may be expected to preface the body of the work with an abstract. In this event, the abstract prepared for the journal will usually be shorter than the one you wrote for your thesis or dissertation. In other words, you will be writing an abstract of an abstract. Here is an example from the beginning of a journal article entitled Gender Stereotypes and Partner Preferences of Asian Women in Masculine and Feminine Cultures.

A Japanese market research unit, Wacoal, has published a survey among single working women aged 20-30 years in Bangkok, Beijing, Hong Kong, Jakarta, Seoul, Singapore, Taipei, and Tokyo. Gender stereotypes as found in the Wacoal survey have been correlated with Masculinity Index scores from Hofstede's IBM studies. In the more masculine cultures [such as Japan], as compared to the more feminine ones [such as Thailand], sense of responsibility, decisiveness, liveliness, and ambitiousness were less often seen as feminine; caring and gentleness were more often seen as feminine. Meaningful correlations were also found for partner preferences (husbands compared to steady boyfriends). In the more masculine cultures, husbands should be more healthy, rich, and understanding; boyfriends should have more personality, affection, intelligence, and sense of humor. In the more feminine cultures, there was hardly any difference between preferred characteristics in husbands versus boyfriends. ( Hofstede, 1996, p. 533)

PLANNING CHECKLIST

As you prepare to compose the final version of your thesis or dissertation, you may find it useful to perform the following activities.