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Posted on June 16th, 2012, by

When we meet hardships and problems in our life, we feel oppressed and lost. Only with the flow of time we can estimate the priceless lessons life gives us. Here, I would like to describe events, which have influenced my grades during the first semester of junior year. These sad experience has changed my attitude to many things in life, if not to say my whole outlook. I will start with the prehistory. When finishing my sophomore year leading into the first semester of junior year I was fully aware that it was may be the most important step for my further occupation. The consciousness of it pushed me to do everything possible to become a successful learner.  I felt that my choice was the choice of an adult person, capable of taken her own decisions and responsibilities. I spent my whole energy on it, so I spent all days doing my homework and searching for new material. I did my best to receive high grades in all subjects. I even moved away from my best friend because she didn’t attend all the classes and didn’t prepare her homework. I couldn’t understand her behaviour and tried to explain her the necessity of studying, its importance in our further life but failed. I couldn’t give it an explanation except her laziness and irresponsibility. We estranged more and more from each other: I was in my studying, she was in her problems. She was in depression, as I understood later. The reasons for such state can be different and often we can’t clearly recognise them. At that time I didn’t know that depression was a serious illness with its own symptoms and that depressed person required help. I didn’t even pay attention to the words of my friend about a suicide as I thought it to be stupid s joke and something, which couldn’t have happened to someone from my closest surrounding.

It turned out that her threats were not just plain words. Fortunately I came right in time to prevent the suicide attempt and saved her life. I was in shock and it took me a lot of time to go through it. A lot of people thought me to be a hero but my inner state was terrible. I felt miserable and guilty because I could prevent this attempt. May be, exactly my indifference pushed her to realise her plan. No one else knew her better that I did and I left her alone with her problems and depression and I couldn’t forgive myself for this. I spend a lot of time, analysing those events and my role in them. It was the fist time I meet the problem of suicide in real life, no on the TV screen or Hollywood movie. Especially painful was to realise that this attempt was performed by my close friend and that I was partially guilty in it. I felt down and couldn’t find the way out. Suddenly I came to realise that there were a lot of people with the same problems and my own experience could help them. I couldn’t have come back to my normal state if I hadn’t helped them. I became a Peer Educator and spent much time explaining young people how to overcome depression and prevent suicide and its attempts, how to support people in critical situations. Of course, I gave up studying and my friend’s accident brought my GPA down, but I got an indispensable lesson of life. Studying is very important but there are vitally important situations where our presence is more necessary. I can repair an omission in studying but would never have forgiven myself if something had happened with my friend.

Now I’ll do my best to increase my GPA and to make up all the missed material, but I won’t give up my Peer Education. I know I’ll have time both for my studying and my activity and even more, I’m sure that Peer Education will even stimulate my studying. Now I know that sometimes events, which happen to us, bring us more that we expect. This way a sad experience with my friend’s suicide attempt has influenced my life very much. I’ve got an unforgettable lesson and made important conclusions from it.

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